Juris Doctor
The State Bar of California hereby certifies that you are technically a lawyer.
Against all odds, and despite a truly concerning academic record, you have passed the Bar. You are now authorized to practice law as a 3rd Rate Attorney. Please try not to embarrass us.
YOUR OATH OF OFFICE:
- The Grind: Take Public Defender cases for guaranteed cash, or Pro Bono cases to build your Clout. Save up to unlock Private Retainers.
- Investigation: Clients lie. Spend your retainer on your Private Investigator to verify claims before you walk into court.
- The Law: Study Legal Theory modules at your desk to unlock Objections.
- The Courtroom: Press witnesses to force them to elaborate. When your Trial Notes glow, the witness is lying. Slam your verified evidence to break them.
Good luck, counselor. Rent is due at the end of the week.
B. Gavel
Chief Justice
A. Chaser
Dean of Admissions
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